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In 2010 my number one resolution is to not attend any more PITY PARTIES. I will surround myself with people who are grateful, gracious and thankful for the many gifts in their lives. My special circle will be filled with people who appreciate and celebrate God, nature and all the good life has to offer. Joy, laughter, great friends, family, nature and simply waking up each morning to a world rich with endless possibilities for fulfillment.

If you’re like me, many of you have friends who have “everything” you think you’ve ever wanted. Great looks, beautiful homes, wonderful relationships, lots of money, success, admiration, confidence, clothes, health, wealth and a closet full of expensive designer shoes; the perfect car, perfect children – the perfect life. Or so we think.

But many of these friends with this so called “perfect life” have a habit of sharing what they have by inviting you to their PITY PARTIES. “Woe is me. My mate doesn’t understand me. My In laws don’t like me. I always have to fight for respect”. And the list of “complaints” go on and on with each joyous meeting. One long, continuous sentence of a life full of regrets, missed opportunities, loss and blame.

Many of these Pity Party Hosts are stuck in a rut obsessing over the need to prove something to other people. And every time we accept an invitation to their Pity Parties, we add “fuel to the fire” by giving up a little bit of ourselves; allowing ourselves to be flushed down drains of despair with the rest of the party garbage.

Many times we find ourselves caught up in the excitement of the moment and try to out complain the complainer. Do we walk away refreshed, refueled; ready to meet the day with exciting new expectations? Not me. I’m usually tired, worn out, depressed and hopeless. Ready to run home, jump in bed and “sleep it off”. Wake up just in time for another Pity Party and the endless cycle of drama.

But the choice was mine. I choose to dine on negativity. I chose the champagne of despair. But the good news is: The choice is still mine. And I choose to change my mind. I choose to change my friends. I choose to decide who to invite into my life; into my home, into my heart. That’s why I choose not to attend any more Pity Parties.

Please, don’t get me wrong. It’s not just the rich and wealthy who hold Pity Parties. People from all walks of life; strangers, acquaintances, co-workers, potential partners – so many people in the world are quick to forget their blessings and dwell on the negative, the bad news, horrific events and hold you captive in their worlds of negativity. But thankfully, you have a choice. You can choose to give.

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